There were many miles between us. Oceans. Birds. I met you, and fell in love in an instant. There was nothing else—just your eyes.
And then we parted. A few hours later, we parted. I had to catch a train.
It felt like a trauma.
For a year, there were emails, letters, phone calls, Skype. For a year, there were visits. Plane tickets, savings accounts happily and ecstatically drained. There were moments that cannot be recalled because they will never need recalling—they will forever be at the very center of every waking moment from now on. They are me.
You are me.
For that year, that one beautiful year, I began a habit of singing to you. When I crossed green forests alone or sank deep into a glorious bath, I sang to you. My voice rang out, cancelling in an instant the seeming realness of so many miles. My voice rang out, clear and unburdened by the day. I made up beautiful songs. I never knew I could sing. I even joined a choir.
I learned the meaning of the word “yearn.” I discovered all amounts and measures of pain. Sometimes, before visits, I would say things like: “only a few more weeks, Beloved.” I would cry, oh how I would cry! Bittersweet tears of longing. Bittersweet tears of joy and ecstasy.
And then, one day, something inside me awoke. It was my heart—my own beating heart! And I realized I’d been singing to it this whole time.
This whole time…singing to my own heart. Coaxing it out of hiding.
My love, my dear love without end, through that year, through our love, I found my way.
If you like this blog, you might also like Anya’s book, Opening Love. Or, for a more intimate encounter, please contact Anya today to schedule your intuitive guidance or relationship coaching session.